What About Now
by Lilylulu
Summary: She's days away from moving to DC and she has no idea what her future contains. Can looking in the past help shape her future? Post "All Children Grow Up" and of course C/C because you know it's me.
1. Chapter 1

In just a couple of days I'm going to be moving to Washington DC. I've got just about everything packed up and ready to go. So I guess it's safe to say physically I'm ready but I'm not so sure if I am mentally. In all honesty I'm scared. I'm moving to a place where I literally know no one. At this point I'm even going to be living by myself so it's not like I'm going to have an instant friend in a potential roommate. I tried my hardest to find someone to room with but I guess when it comes to graduate school most people choose to live on their own. I put several ads out on the school message boards and I got one reply. And it was from a guy named Mamood from some foreign country I had never heard of who barely spoke English and obviously not what I was looking for. I politely declined by informing him I had already found a roommate.

I went down to DC with my parents a couple of weeks ago to go apartment hunting. We found one pretty close to the University that didn't cost me an arm and a leg. In my admission packet the Dean stated that it was strongly recommended first year students not have a job because the coursework is so intense. So my rent is pretty much going to be paid by school loans and a little help from my parents. I expected the place to be furnished but that wasn't the case either. So as soon as we drop off my clothes, books and other miscellaneous things we have to go shopping for furniture. And by we, I mean Rusty and I. Mom and dad decided to plan another trip to Maui the weekend I have to move to law school. What parents do that?! Well, I guess mine do. At least they went with me to find the place. And Rusty said he was going to try and get Calvin and possibly Dale to help out with the move so maybe it won't be too bad.

I was lying on my bed alone in my thoughts when my phone rang. I looked at it to see that it was Rusty.

"Hey Russ, what's up?" I answered the phone.

"I've got a little change in plans," said Rusty. "Are you going to be able to fit everything in just your car?"

"Yeah, I guess so, why?" I asked.

"Because Calvin wants to head down to DC now and stop in Pittsburg to see Heath," Rusty replied. "He started medical school there a couple of weeks ago."

"So I'm going to be driving to DC by myself?" I whined. "Do you have any idea how boring that is going to be?"

"You'll be fine Case," said Rusty in a very fatherly tone. "Call me when you get into town on Friday. I'll meet you at your apartment and I promise I'll be all yours."

"I guess I don't really have a choice huh?" I asked.

"Not really," said Rusty with a small laugh.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you Friday then," I replied.

"Great. Drive safely," he stated.

"You too," I replied. "Bye Russ."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and threw it on the other side of the bed. I was mad Rusty was kind of bailing on me but maybe a nice quiet drive down to DC to think about everything in the future will be good for me. It will give me some time to gather my thoughts.

I was hoping Rusty could help me pack up some of my last minute things when he got here on Friday but since he isn't coming I guess I'm left to do everything on my own. So I got up off my bed and headed over to my bookshelf full of my heavy books I was going to make Rusty carry. I grabbed an empty box and began piling in a couple of basic law books I had bought, some fiction novels that I'll probably never get to read and a couple scrapbooks I probably won't ever open again. But one of them caught my eye as I began to put it in the box. My big sis Frannie had bought me the scrapbook freshman year with big Zeta Beta Zeta letters on the front of it. I took it over to the bed and opened it.

The very first page had my freshman year composite picture. I remember I was so proud of that picture. My hair was all curly and I knew I would fit in perfectly with all the rest of the beautiful sisters in the large picture that is now hanging in the hall of the ZBZ house. On the next page I had put the letter Frannie had wrote to me the night I found out she was my big sister. To this day the letter still touches a piece of my heart and makes me sad that things went so sour between the two of us.

The next several pages were pictures from various sorority events I participated in freshman year. There was the Smoosh-in-a-Bug competition where we had to see how many sisters we could fit into the back of a VW Bug. I remember I was towards the bottom of the pile and so sore afterwards but it was well worth it because we won five blue ribbon points for it. Then there was the Lip Syncing contest where we all dressed up like Britney Spears and learned her dance to "Baby Hit Me One More Time" and performed it in front of the entire Greek system. I think our sexy outfits certainly helped us win that one, especially since the Lambda Sigs were the judges.

And then there were of course the party pictures. I was surprised to see how many pictures I had with me holding a red cup, probably filled with beer or whatever concoction the Kappa Taus had came up with that day. The mention of Kappa Tau made me pause for a second. Sure they were the best party fraternity on campus but that wasn't the reason I paused. It was because hearing the name Kappa Tau made me think of_ him_. No Casey, you can't think of that right now. Right now it's time for you to think about the future and starting law school next week. I attempted to scratch him from my mind by turning to the next page of the scrapbook but only to find a picture of me and him at one of the famous Kappa Tau parties.

It was probably one of the first pictures the two of us had ever taken together. We were probably only together about a month at the time. But it was strange to look at the picture and already see the love that was in our eyes when we were together. He was standing behind me with his arms tightly around my waist and his head nuzzled into my neck. I was laughing so he was probably tickling me with his nose or breathing his warm breath on my neck trying to drive me crazy.

Whoa Casey, there is no need to be thinking about that right now. Thinking about hot sex with my friend Cappie was totally off limits. Yes, I said my _friend_ Cappie. We've been through so much in this life that it's almost impossible for us not to be friends. We dated almost all of freshman year and was able to maintain a friendship after that. And we tried a relationship again our senior year. We lasted from Thanksgiving to spring break, four months give or take a few days.

Unfortunately things ended just about as quickly as they began the second night of spring break as we stood on the pier arguing with each other. You see, Cappie refuses to grow up. He feels like he can stay at CRU for the rest of his life and not have to face the real world. The sad thing is that his parents actually agree and encourage him to live that way. I thought when they came to town they could talk some sense into him about growing up but that was no such luck. I think it only pushed him further into thinking he can stay at Kappa Tau and party like a rockstar for the rest of his life.

The worst part about our break-up that night was the fact that he had tried to lavalier me right before the argument started. He was so excited and a little nervous I think at the same time. But I felt like the second he shut that box the shit was going to hit the fan and did it ever. I was in complete and utter shock as he left me standing alone and crying on the pier. I had planned on telling him that evening about going to DC but I didn't think for a second that it would lead to us breaking up.

We spent the rest of the spring break avoiding each other at all costs. He moved into Beaver's room and Ashleigh spent several nights in mine trying to calm me down and enjoy my last spring break as much as I could. Two days later I made her go bungee jumping with me. I knew I had to do it so I didn't sound too much like a hypocrite overcoming my fears and heading off to graduate school but not being able to jump off a several hundred foot ledge. I felt strangely liberated when I did the jump. I think that may have had something to do with seeing Cappie at the bottom while I was hanging upside down and waiting for them to lower me to the ground. We made eye contact for a brief second but he quickly turned and walked away with his brothers. All it took was that brief second for me to see the pain still in his eyes. I guess I became somewhat relieved realizing he was going through the same hell I was going through.

We returned to school after spring break and I spent the next month and a half focusing on mostly school and a few sorority things here and there. There was a bowling competition between all the houses in which ZBZ was paired with Kappa Tau towards the end of the semester. I conveniently remembered a research paper I had to write for one of my classes so I didn't have to go and risk seeing Cappie. I later found out from Ashleigh that Cappie was also a no show to the event. I guess it kind of surprised me that he was trying to avoid me as much as I was trying to avoid him.

It hurt me to think that I was going to leave school without Cappie and me at least talking about things. The one thing that kept me sane was that I felt like I had my own little spy in Rusty when it came to Cappie. At first Rusty tried to stay out of things between the two of us because he didn't want to lose his friendship with Cappie and the great brother and sister relationship the two of us had built over the past two years. But I was slowly able to get more and more out of him about what Cappie was doing and what he was thinking. I'm sure Rusty probably ran and told Cappie everything I said back to him but I didn't care. I actually wanted Cappie to know that I hoped the two of us could at the least be friends. After I told Rusty that I slept with my phone next to me for the next three nights hoping Cappie would call and want to talk. But he never called and I still never saw him anywhere on campus.

The Kappa Taus were actually throwing a huge end of the year party the weekend before graduation and I contemplated for a while if I should go or not. But ultimately I decided to chicken out and avoid the party. Ashleigh and I stayed home and had our own little girly party where we pigged out on ice cream and drank strawberry margaritas a majority of the night instead.

Graduation came and went quickly. It is kind of mundane having something so important in your life last a whole two minutes of walking across the stage, shaking hands with Dean Bowman, receiving your diploma, posing for a picture and then walking off the stage. The blue cap and gown is still hanging in my closet. I figured mom and dad could save some money by having Rusty use it too as long as they have the same gowns for his class.

After the ceremony I went to dinner with my parents and Rusty and Dana. It was a nice dinner but I felt pretty lonely during it. We sat at a table for six and all I could think about was how I wanted Cappie sitting in the empty chair next to me experiencing all of this with me and my family, regardless if he actually graduated or not. But instead I was like the fifth wheel during dinner and spent pretty much the whole time wishing it would end soon so I could go back to the house and wallow in my own pity party.

Finally, after dessert and coffee were finished, mom and dad left to go back to Chicago. Rusty and Dana, however, were very persistent that I wasn't allowed to go back to the house. I tried every excuse in the book; I told them I had more things to pack, I told them I wasn't feeling well, I even just plain told them I wasn't interested in going anywhere or doing anything. But they insisted that I had to go to Dobler's one last time with them. I knew pretty much everyone from Greek row was going to be there that night and I wanted to avoid it at all costs.

I was right, Dobler's was absolutely packed that night. Rusty, Dana and I pushed through several people and finally found a table occupied by Ashleigh, Rebecca and some of my other sorority sisters. Once I met up with them my night got a little bit better. I had a couple of lemon drops which helped me relax. I forgot how much I love just sitting around with my sisters laughing and telling new and old stories. It was really a perfect end to my run at Cyprus Rhodes.

I had to be up early the next morning to travel back to Chicago. The rest of the girls weren't ready to leave but I knew if I didn't head out soon I was never going to get up in the morning to leave. So I shed a few tears and hugged them all and began walking out of Dobler's to head back to the ZBZ house. I had almost made it to the door when someone's voice stopped me.

"Congratulations on graduation Casey."

At first I froze because I knew exactly whose voice it was. It was just so unexpected and random after a month and a half of doing anything and everything the two of us could to avoid each other after the spring break incident.

I finally turned to find him sitting at a table with a few of his brothers drinking a beer.

"Thanks Cap," I said politely as I started to turn around and run as fast as I could out the door.

But he stopped me again.

"Are you going home already?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said as I slowly turned back around. "I have to leave for Chicago early in the morning."

I saw him hesitate in the next thing he was going to say for a second. But I guess he regained his confidence as the next words out of his mouth kind of shocked me.

"Can I walk you home?" he asked.

"Uh…" Now it was my turn to hesitate. "Sure, I guess. I mean, only if you want to. I don't want you to leave if you don't want to."

Wow, I was certainly stuttering all over my words. No use trying to hide my nervousness at the moment.

"I'd love to," he replied taking one last gulp of his beer and setting the glass on the table. "See you later guys."

He stood up off the stool and came up to stand next to me. I quickly looked over at the table I was previously sitting at with my sisters. They were all staring at Cappie and me standing next to each other and had smiles on their faces. They always got their hopes up too much when it came to Cappie and me.

"After you," Cappie said as he opened the door for me.

I made eye contact with him briefly and gave him a half smile. He smiled widely back at me. I could see in his eyes he definitely had something he really needed to say and I guess at that point in time it was now or never to have our post spring break talk.

* * *

_**A/N: Hello everyone! Well here is the Casey POV fic I mentioned I was going to start writing. I anticipate this story to be about three or four chapters total. Hope you liked the start of it.....let me know what you think :0)**_


	2. Chapter 2

We walked the first few hundred yards back to campus in silence. The whole situation was kind of surreal for me. I had to catch myself from taking his hand into mine when we first started walking. There was no doubt that I still had feelings for him. Hell, I've had feelings for Cappie since the day we met freshman year. But I had to remind myself that we weren't together anymore.

The warm air was blowing against my face as we walked another hundred yards or so. The silence was killing me. But Cappie was the one who asked to walk me home so I was going to let him initiate any conversation. And truthfully I still didn't know what to say to him really.

"Nice night," I heard him say offhandedly.

"Sure is," I replied, slightly disappointed this conversation was starting off with petty small talk.

"I can't believe it's been four years already," said Cappie. "Where on earth did the time go?"

"It did go by fast," I agreed. "But it's not like we're done with school yet. I still have a couple of years of grad school in DC and you'll still be here at CRU for a while."

I know I probably shouldn't have brought up our future plans this quickly. I looked over at Cappie and saw him look away and roll his eyes. It was obviously not the time to bring that subject up.

"You looked great at graduation today," he replied, completely changing the subject as I thought he would.

"Thanks," I replied. "I didn't know you were even there."

"Heath and a couple of other brothers were graduating," he said. "I went to support them."

"Oh," I replied nodding my head.

"And another part of me wanted to be there to see you," he blurted out.

I turned to look at him as he turned to look at me. We both smiled awkwardly at each other before I quickly turned my gaze back in front of me.

"Why did you want to see me?" I asked.

"Just to make sure you made it," he said jokingly with a small laugh.

I turned and gave him a disapproving look. I really didn't find that very funny.

"Seriously though," he said dropping the smile off his face. "There wasn't a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't make it. Something about being there just felt right though. Like I was supposed to be there."

"Well you were supposed to be there," I replied, not really thinking about what I said until it came out of my mouth. "Even if you didn't graduate, you were supposed to be there to cheer me on."

"I know," he replied softly as he looked at the ground.

There was a small awkward silence between the two of us.

"But there is no reason to stand here and talk about what is or was supposed to happen," I said. "What happened was for the best."

"You think?" Cappie asked, stopping in his tracks.

I kept walking a few steps until I realized he had stopped. I slowly turned around and looked at him. He was looking right at me, his hands were shoved in his pockets and all I could see was hurt written on his face.

"Cap, you have to admit that nothing has changed between the two of us since freshman year," I said taking a step towards him. "We were still dealing with the same issues we had back then. If anything, I felt like our relationship wasn't as exciting as it was the first time around."

"That's because you lost your ability to have fun," he said as he started to walk again.

"That's not true," I said, now walking behind him. I wasn't even sure why I was following him at this point. The conversation wasn't going anywhere. "I still know how to have fun."

"OK, I guess I should word this better then," said Cappie turning his head slightly to look at me and squinting his eyebrows together. "You know how to have fun; you just are so damn focused on growing up and the future that you don't allow yourself to have any of that fun."

"Well did you ever think that maybe you are just the opposite?" I began to raise my voice. "You are too consumed with having too much fun that you don't even allow yourself to think about the future."

"Maybe that is the truth," he said, also raising his voice a bit. "But how do you expect me to change all of that for you?"

Now it was my turn to stop in my tracks. I was becoming mad and began regretting even going on this walk more and more with each step I took.

"I thought you would change because you loved me," I said crossing my arms in front of me.

He now stopped and turned to look at me.

"And I thought you would change because you loved me," he said, repeating my words, word for word.

We stood there for a while, just staring at each other. Cappie was either upset also or nervous because he began to bite his bottom lip. It was hard for me to focus on the task at hand and not think about how much I wanted his lips to be touching somewhere, anywhere, on my body.

"Did you forget that you were the one who broke up with me?" I asked taking my gaze off his lips and staring more into his eyes. "You were the one who left me standing on that pier crying and not only ruined my birthday, but my entire spring break also."

"Does it ever occur to you that I am just as hurt as you?" Cappie asked. "Everything was ruined from the moment you didn't accept my lavalier."

"You never even gave me the chance to accept it!" I yelled as I threw my hands up in the air. "And obviously the offer was well off the table when you ended things between the two of us."

"Sucks to be dumped doesn't it?" he asked, his tone of voice was as cold as ever.

"Is that what this is all about?" I asked. "Are you trying to show me how I broke your heart freshman year? Are you trying to prove a point?"

"Hell no," he replied. "Why would you even think I would be spiteful like that?"

I paused and took a deep breath. Things were starting to get more heated and out of hand than I think either of us wanted them to.

"Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse Cap," I said shrugging my shoulders. "I'm still trying to figure out where things went wrong and why you broke up with me that night."

"Would it help you to know that I regret what happened that night more than pretty much anything in the world?" Cappie asked, staring into my eyes, forcing me to stare at his and see how honestly he meant his last remark.

"Cap…" I began to say.

"Sorry," he said interrupting me. "I'm beginning to say things without thinking about them ahead of time. Let's just keep walking."

He turned and slowly began to walk towards the ZBZ house. I stood there for a few seconds. My head was starting to spin. One minute Cappie and I are arguing and exchanging heated words and the next minute he says something like that that just stops any negative thoughts I had about him at the time.

As I walked to catch up with him I began to think about the two of us and where we would be right now if we hadn't broken up that night on the pier. Would I be wearing his letters around my neck? Would we still be stuck on different paths towards our future with neither of us willing to change?

"So when do you start school in DC?" he asked as I caught up and began walking beside him.

I hated how he changed the conversation. It was like whenever something gets too deep or complicated for Cappie he does something to find a way out of it. In this case, he not so nonchalantly changed the subject.

"Classes start the first week of September," I replied, trying to avoid any further arguing. "So I'll probably move at the end of August sometime."

"Any plans for the summer?" he asked as we reached the edge of the ZBZ lawn.

"Just prepare for law school," I replied. "There are a few books I want to read and who knows, maybe I'll take a little vacation in there somewhere just to get away from.........things."

We didn't really say anything more as we walked up to the door of the house.

"Well, here we are," I said as the two of us turned to face each other.

"Kind of ironic ending things here isn't it?" he asked. "After everything that happened Thanksgiving when I walked you home."

"Yeah," I sighed. "But we can't dwell on the past. The future awaits right?"

"I guess," he said softly.

We both stood there staring at each other for a minute. I was beginning to get lost in his sea-colored eyes which seemed to be more prominent than ever with the blue shirt he was wearing. He's always looked at me like nothing else in the world mattered to him and even though I couldn't see my own expression, I was probably looking at him the exact same way. We were both playing with fire at the moment. Staring at each other like this always led to things we would probably regret the next morning.

"Well, thanks for the walk home," I finally said breaking the stare and holding my arms out to him for a hug. "Best of luck to you Cap."

I put my arms around his neck as he tightly wrapped his arms around my waist. God did it feel good to be back in his arms again.

"Is this seriously how you want to leave things Case?" he asked, his head still on my shoulder. "Just saying 'best of luck' like we're acquaintances who probably will never talk to or see each other again?"

"Of course not," I replied as we backed away from each other.

But Cappie wouldn't back away as far as he was before. He moved his hands so they were firmly locked on the sides of my waist. He looked down at me as I looked up at him. I watched as he licked his dry lips and I found myself doing the exact same thing. I yelled at myself to back away, this was dangerous territory Casey. But before I could find the courage within me to break away, Cappie leaned down and planted his lips right on mine. And I kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck just as tight and pulled him as close to me as I could. My judgment was cloudy and it was my heart controling any of the emotions I was feeling now more than anything.

Cappie was the one who actually backed away from the kiss. He continued to keep his hands on my waist and his lips inches away from mine.

"What about now Casey?" he asked. "Let's make this work now."

Instantly my heart began to scream 'Yes Casey! Do it! Be with the one you love!' But like a wrecking ball slamming into the side of a building reality hit me and kindly told my heart to be quiet.

"I can't Cap," I said softly. I expected at that moment he would let me go. But he didn't move an inch, continuing to stare down into my eyes. "Nothing has changed. I'm still going to Washington. You're still staying here at CRU."

"I know," he replied slightly nodding his head. "I guess all this talk about breaking up being a mistake tonight had me thinking that we could make this work. It was worth a try."

"I know Cap," I replied. "But I am really glad we finally had this talk. I feel like at least a few things were cleared up tonight."

"Yeah…." he said trailing off in his thoughts.

And the odd part about the whole thing was that we were still standing there holding onto each other, our bodies just inches away from one other. It was like we were both holding on to any last hope we had for each other and once we let go that was it, we were done.

"I know this kind of sounds cliché and everything but I really would like us to still be friends," I said, staring him right in the eyes. I also began playing with a few strands of his hair at the base of his neck where my hands were still tightly wrapped around him. I'm not really sure I even realized I was doing it at the time. I guess it was just a habit I developed every time I had my arms around his neck. "Next to Ashleigh you're probably the one person in the world who knows the most about me and I would hate to lose you."

"Well I like that response a lot better than the whole 'best wishes' crap you gave me earlier," Cappie said with a small laugh.

"Good. I like that better too," I replied.

I then leaned up on my tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. I probably let my lips linger on his cheek a little bit more than I should have but that was the way friends said goodbye right?

"Don't be a stranger," I said as I backed away from him. "You can call me anytime, day or night."

"Same applies to you," he replied.

We finally fully backed away from each other but as Cappie let go of my waist, he loosely took my hand into his. We both looked down at our hands clasped together and smiled. His hand felt so warm compared to mine. It was a feeling I was finding very hard to let go of.

"Bye Cap," I said as I began to walk towards the door.

As I opened the door he took a couple of steps away from the house. We held our hands together until the last possible second, brushing our fingertips against each other before finally losing all contact.

"Bye Case," was the last thing I heard him say as I closed the door to the house.

* * *

_**A/N: OK, so I know it's not the happy ending quite yet but I actually really liked how this chapter came out. I'll be interested to read what you guys think in the reviews of this chapter since my other story post finale had a quick and happy ending. I'll probably have the next chapter up in a few days. Thanks for reading! Oh and a new chapter of Rainbows will be up tomorrow for anyone waiting :0)**_


	3. Chapter 3

The day of moving to Washington finally came. I spent the night before putting everything in the car so I could start as early as possible. It was hard leaving the house. I had to stop and take a couple of deep breaths before walking out the door. I have left this house several times to go to CRU for each new semester but this time was a little different. This time leaving seemed more permanent than it had been before. I can't really describe the feeling. Maybe it's because I'm going to be living alone this time around in my own apartment. I guess I always felt sheltered living in the sorority house. Going to Washington I'm going to be on my own, alone to face the world and it's a scary feeling.

I got into my car and pulled out of the driveway slowly, taking in the moment. I then turned the car and I was off to the nation's capital. Part of me was looking forward to the ten hour or so drive but another part of me was dreading it. It would have been nice to have Rusty here with me. He could have at least kept me company. But I had to get used to being alone. After Rusty helps me move in and heads back to CRU I'm going to be alone in a city where I know no one. Well, at least until I hopefully make some new law school friends once classes start.

The first couple hours of the drive were uneventful. I ran into a couple of road construction areas but luckily they didn't slow me down too much. I was surprised I hadn't even turned on the radio yet. I guess I just spent the time thinking but not really thinking much about anything if that makes sense. It was a period of de-stressing for me to soak in everything that was now changing in my life.

Another few minutes passed when a familiar ringtone began playing on my phone. I instantly smiled, knowing just who it was.

"You're up awfully early," I answered the phone.

"Well hello to you too," said Cappie with a small laugh. "Have you left yet?"

"Of course I've left," I replied. "I want to get there and in my apartment before all the crazies come out at night."

"I highly doubt you have to worry about any crazies," Cappie replied. "It's not like anyone gets drunk in law school." He paused. "Do they?"

"They drink scotch, remember?" I stated.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," he said in almost a sad tone. Apparently talking about scotch reminded him of Joel and that not-so-fun time in our lives.

"Anyway," I said trying to redirect the conversation as fast as I could. "Any particular reason you're calling me this early in the morning? You're never up this early."

"Stupid groundskeepers outside decided to start mowing at seven am," he replied. "I haven't been able to get back to sleep since. And I remembered today was the day you were going to be driving to DC so I thought I'd call and see how you were doing."

"I'm doing fine father," I said sarcastically. "But it's going to be pretty boring without Rusty."

"I thought he was going to be with you?" Cappie asked.

"He was," I replied with a sigh. "But I guess Calvin wanted to visit Heath at Penn State or something like that so they left a few days early. So that leaves me by myself."

There was a brief silence between us.

"Hey, don't you have to drive through Ohio to get to DC?" Cappie asked.

"Duh," I replied.

"I'm going to ignore that last hint of sarcasm," he replied. I could just see in my mind him rolling his eyes at my remark. "I was going to suggest that you should pick me up on your way through so you don't have to ride the whole way by yourself. And then I could get a ride back with Rusty."

"I don't think so Cap," I replied. "CRU is a little out of my way."

"I could meet you somewhere," he countered.

I paused briefly to think about his proposition. On one hand it would be nice to have someone along for the ride to talk to. But on the other hand Cappie and I have only hung out one other time since we became friends again and I could picture it becoming somewhat awkward given everything that has happened between the two of us. The two of us alone together was just not something I was ready to handle quite yet.

"Thanks for the offer Cap but I'll be OK," I finally replied. "I kind of need this drive alone just to think about everything that's going to be happening in the near future."

He took a deep breath. "Alright, if that's what you want," he stated. "But you're missing out on a lot of fun."

"I'm sure I am," I said. "But once I get settled in DC I'll be sure to invite you and Rusty and whoever else down for a welcoming party."

"Are you talking about the kind of welcoming party with drinking and fun or the kind where I have to head out to Bed, Bath and Beyond and buy you some kind of electric juicer and wrap it up all nice and pretty?" Cappie asked jokingly.

"You're silly Cap," I said with a laugh. "I have to get going. I'm getting into some heavier traffic."

"OK," he said with a little sadness in his voice. "Let me know about the party. I'll even come to the one where I have to bring the blender if I have to."

"I thought you said you were getting me a juicer?" I asked, a smile now plastered on my face but of course he couldn't see it.

"I'll get you whatever you want Case," he replied. "I lo--," he quickly stopped himself and faked a cough to cover up what I already knew he was going to say. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Cap," I said as I shut the phone and placed it in the cup holder next to me.

I was kind of shocked that Cappie almost let the 'I love you' words slip from his mouth. But I wasn't shocked at all that he was thinking about it. We both know that we still love each other. There is no point in denying it. It was my love for him that made me turn down his offer to come with me to DC. The love in my heart wants to be with him so badly and when I'm first around Cappie my heart controls all of my actions. But slowly reality comes in and crushes everything. As much as I want to be with him, I can't make him grow up. Maybe if we're really meant to be we'll get together sometime years down the road once he's done something with his life. But until then I think we can remain good friends which is a lot better than nothing.

I drove for a little bit more before I stopped at a rest area to stretch my legs and grab something to eat. Once back in the car the loneliness began to get to me a little bit and I almost wished I had taken Cappie up on his offer. Honestly, he's all I've been able to think about since he called. I quickly turned on the radio hoping that some music would help clear my head. But it didn't help the song instantly playing on the radio when I turned it on reminded me of Cappie and the last time I saw him...........

Rusty had been bugging me for days to go back to CRU with him. It was about halfway through the summer break and the Kappa Taus left on campus were throwing a big summer party and inviting anyone and everyone they could. Cappie even called me personally to invite me. I didn't turn him down right away. I merely told him that I wasn't sure what I was doing for the weekend and I would think about it. I had almost gotten the nerve to call him back and reject him when Rusty made his final plea for me to come with him. He gave me this whole speech about how it would be such a great last sister and brother bonding experience before I left for law school. And with me being the softie that I am I fell for it. So the next day the two of us were off to CRU.

The road trip there was actually a lot of fun. We played several stupid license plate word games and talked just about everything, including my relationship with Cappie. Oddly enough Rusty is probably the person other than Cappie and I who knows the most about what has happened with our relationship and where both of us stand. He always makes sure I know how much of a mistake giving up on the love of my life he thinks I'm making. I don't get mad when he bugs me about it because in the grand scheme of things he's probably right. But he also understands that long distance love is hard and probably won't work for the two of us. In the end he admits that Cappie and I are a mess in whatever situation we choose to do. I'm just glad I was able to get him to see why the two of us are just friends and that it is what is going to work out best for us right now.

It was nighttime when we finally arrived on campus. I parked in the first space I found along Greek row. There were already several cars parked around the Kappa Tau house. The boys certainly didn't waste any time getting the party started. Rusty and I walked up to the door. I was about to open it when he stopped me for just a second.

"Just try to forget about everything and have fun Case," he said. "And if things get weird between you and Cappie just give me the signal and I'll be right there to interrupt."

"And what would the signal be?" I asked squinting my eyebrows at him in confusion.

"Ummmm," he said thinking to himself. "How about crossing your fingers and waving them like you sorority girls do during rush when you're in trouble talking with a new girl?"

"OK—hey wait," I said glaring at him. "How do you know about that?"

"I have dated two pledges in your sorority you know," he said with a smirk. "But don't worry, you're secret it safe with me."

I just rolled my eyes at him as I opened the door to the Kappa Tau house. Instantly I felt a rush of blaring music and talking amongst the several guests that were there. Each of them had their respective red cups probably drinking beer or some other crazy creation the brothers came up with. I suddenly felt like I was eighteen again at my first fraternity party.

"Hey! You guys made it!" Cappie said walking up to us and interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah, good to see you Cap," I said as the two of us embraced with a hug.

"Looks like a lot of people came to the party," Rusty interrupted sensing that our hug was lasting a tad longer than either of us had planned.

"Yeah, the turnout was better than we expected," said Cappie letting go of me as we exchanged nervous smiles. "I just hope we don't run out of booze."

"Well there's always the secret stash out in the shed if we do need anything," Rusty replied quietly.

"Hush Spitter," said Cappie glaring at him. "So," he continued changing to a more upbeat tone. "Shall we go and get you two something to drink?"

"Lead the way," I said as Rusty and I followed him out to the backyard and filled our cups with a blue fruity tasting drink Beaver had made for the party.

Cappie excused himself to greet some more of the guests and I followed Rusty around for the next couple of hours greeting most of the Kappa Tau brothers that had come to the party. Usually I love hanging out with the KT brothers but I wasn't really feeling it. Probably because every single one of them either asked me what happened between Cappie and I or told me how sorry they were that things didn't work out. It was kind of depressing reliving the moment over and over and over again. I found myself refilling my cup with the blue fruity drink a few more times than I had planned. I certainly wasn't wasted drunk but I wasn't anywhere near sober either. I guess tipsy would be the word to describe how I felt.

At one point I looked across the yard and saw Cappie with his arms around a couple of girls. I knew it was him just being the overly friendly host that he was but it still made my heart sink down to my stomach. I just can't understand why he has such an effect on me. We are broken up. He can do whatever he wants.

I downed the rest of my drink quickly and excused myself to the bathroom. After waiting in line for a couple of minutes I was finally able to have a little bit of peace. Of course it didn't last long with the line of people waiting after me but it was a nice breather for a moment.

Several people had turned the living room into a makeshift dance floor and with the alcohol now in my system allowing me to loosen up a bit I decided to join them. The Plain White Tees CD was blaring and it wasn't exactly the best dancing music but when people are drunk they'll dance to just about anything. I wasn't really dancing with anyone particular. I just joined in the large group of males and females that were dancing. One moment I would be dancing with a couple of the girls and the next minute I would be dancing with one of the guys. But when I began dancing with one of the guys I could feel eyes on me. And sure enough, I caught Cappie looking at me out of the corner of my eye. He didn't look upset or anything. I think he was merely just making sure I was OK and that the guys weren't trying anything with me they shouldn't be.

The faster song we were dancing to ended and "Hey There Delilah" began to play, which was a much slower song. Several of the guys and girls around me paired up and began swaying back and forth to the song, some of them were even making out at this point. I felt uncomfortable and was about to walk over to the couch and sit down when one of the random guys I was dancing with grabbed my waist and asked me to dance. I wanted to break away from his grasp and walk the other way but at the same time didn't want to be mean and turn him down. Luckily I didn't have to do either.

"Sorry dude, she's taken," said Cappie as he walked up to the two of us.

"Sorry man," he replied letting me go. "She's all yours."

He walked away as Cappie put his hands around my waist. I had to admit Cappie's hands felt a thousand times better than the other guy's. His touch sent shivers down my spine.

"Thanks," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Anytime," he replied squeezing me a little bit tighter.

The two of us didn't say anything while we danced. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. His familiar smell engulfed me, almost like a drug taking over my senses. I felt his index fingers making slow circles on the small of my back and each time he hit a certain spot, chills went running up and down my spine again. I realized at this very moment I felt content. And I hadn't felt content in a long time. The moment of silence was short lived as I began to hear Cappie whisper some of the lyrics to the song in my ear.

"A thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars, I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way," his breath against my ear was beginning to drive me crazy.

He stopped singing just as I opened my eyes to see Rusty looking at me off to the side. He gave me a look asking me if I needed any help but I lightly shook my head no in return. He understood and turned and walked away.

The song ended and I backed away from Cappie.

"You've never sang to me like that before," I said softly.

"Because I've never had a reason to," he replied with a small smile on his face.

I smiled back at him and stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the lips. It was just a soft kiss, our lips touching for no more than one or two seconds. In my mind I meant for it to be a friendly kiss but we both knew it was so much more. I was surprised he didn't try and deepen the kiss. I guess he felt that this was a baby step on his way to his ultimate goal of getting me back and it was all my fault leading him on to think it could happen.

The rest of the night went by quickly. Cappie and I never left each others' side. We held hands every time we made our way from one group of people to another. He would occasionally sneak his arms around my waist from behind when we were standing and talking to some of his brothers. If anyone didn't know better they would assume the two of us were back together and dating again. I'm not really sure if it was the alcohol that made me act like that or the sheer fact that I loved every minute of it. I loved his arms around me, I loved how his hand fit together perfectly with mine, I loved him.

The only time that night my mind actually overruled my heart was when Cappie asked me to stay the night with him in his bed. I just couldn't do it. There were so many memories the two of us had wrapped up in his room. While the thought of having sex with him at the moment was incredibly appealing I knew waking up with the regret the next morning would be unbearable to live with.

So instead of completely turning him down I suggested that the two of us stay downstairs where there would be other people around. He was agreeable and quickly set up a blanket for us to lay on outside in the backyard.

"We're sleeping in the grass?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Well all the couches and chairs are already taken in the living room," he replied. "So it's either here or on top of the pool table which I wouldn't be surprised if there was someone there already too."

"I guess I can deal with this," I smiled as I laid down on the blanket.

He laid down next to me and I cuddled up right next to him. The two of us didn't say much before we fell asleep. We talked a little bit about the stars in the sky as we stared up at them. I think I was the first one to fall asleep because I don't remember actually ending the conversation with him. His arms are like a sleeping pill for me. Once they are wrapped around me I'm usually asleep in the next fifteen minutes. Again, I felt the most content I had been in a long time.

I was a bit hazy when I woke up the next morning. It took me a few seconds to remember exactly where I was and what happened the night before. I didn't move the entire night. Cappie's arms were wrapped around me the exact same way they were when we fell asleep. I turned around in his arms so I could face him. He was still sleeping but my movement slowly began to wake him. A smile came on his face as soon as he opened his eyes and saw me looking at him.

"I thought I was dreaming," he said in a soft, husky voice. "I didn't expect you to actually be here."

"Yeah, I'm here," I replied softly, staring right into his gorgeous blue eyes. "But I have to get going soon. Rusty and I have a long drive back to Chicago."

"Awww, do you have to leave?" he whined as he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Yeah, I do," I replied lowering my head.

"Soooo," Cappie hesitated. "Where does this leave us?"

"Nothing more than good friends like we've been since the end of the semester," I replied raising my head back up to look at him.

"Are you sure good friends act like the way the two of us did last night?" he asked. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Probably not," I replied honestly. "But we just can't work because—"

"Save it Case," he said interrupting me. "I've heard it all before. I'm immature and have no future plans and never want to grow up. You've made your point very clear."

"I'm sorry Cap," I said as I stood up. "This is my fault. I led you on last night."

"Because you still have feelings for me," he said also standing up.

"Of course," I replied. "Every time I'm around you my heart races and seems to make all my decisions for me."

"So why not listen to your heart?" he asked.

"Because my mind knows what's best for me and for us," I replied. "We're just on two different paths at the moment Cap. That doesn't mean that something can't happen in the future between us. But for right now it's just not going to work."

"I understand," he replied looking towards the ground.

I went up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Please don't be upset with me," I whispered. "Saying goodbye is hard enough. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Case," he said backing away. "I just think you shouldn't say goodbye. Why can't we live two different paths but still be together?"

"Cap have you ever been in a long distance relationship?" I asked.

"No," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Well I did with Max when he went to London," I replied. "And even though it was only a short time it still sucked. Look what happened when he was away! I suddenly realized that I had more feelings for you than I did for him. What's going to happen when I don't see you for months at a time?"

"Are you afraid you're going to cheat on me or something?" Cappie asked, pulling me closer to him and increasing his grip on my waist.

"No, maybe, ugh, I don't know," I replied. "What about you? You always have girls falling all over you. I'll probably be a wreck thinking about what you're doing and where you're going and who you're with. I—"

Cappie put his finger up against my lips. "Shhh," he said. "I know deep down in there somewhere you trust me. And you know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to my life. I would never cheat on you."

I paused thinking about what I was going to say next. He gently rubbed his finger against my lips as he took it away and it sent chills all over my body.

"Cap, I just don't think I'm strong enough to handle a long distance relationship right now," I admitted.

He looked me right in the eyes and a little smile grew over his face. I shot him back a confused look.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked. "I just rejected you yet again. You shouldn't be smiling."

"I'm smiling because you finally told me why you think a long distance relationship won't work," he replied. "Never once in all of our discussions and arguments and disagreements did you ever explain to me why you didn't want to do a long distance relationship. And now I know. And even though I'm hurt inside to be rejected by you again I'm glad you know deep down that I would never cheat on you. Promise."

"I know Cap," I replied. "Can you maybe just give me some time? Maybe after I adjust to DC and law school I'll be stronger to handle a long distance relationship. I hope you can understand that with everything changing in my life right now it's just not the right time."

"I understand," he replied.

I rested my head down against his chest and we both sighed. It sucked having to do this goodbye thing all over again. I squeezed him as tight as I could and suddenly felt tears fill my eyes. I tried with everything I could to blink them away. I wasn't really sure why I was on the verge of tears, all I knew is that I didn't want Cappie to know. I finally broke away from his embrace and did my best to avoid eye contact with him as I began to walk away and up onto the deck of the back door. I turned around a looked at him one last time. He was standing in the middle of the yard with his hands shoved in his pockets just staring at me walking away.

"Bye Cap," I said softly.

"Bye Case," I heard him say as I walked into the house.

I quickly found Rusty half awake on one of the chairs in the living room and shook him all the way awake.

"Come on Russ, we have to go," I said.

Rusty wasn't quite sure what was going on as he was still half asleep. But nonetheless he followed me out to the car and got in.

We were about ten minutes away from campus when Rusty finally woke up all the way and realized what was going on and what had happened last night.

"Was I drunk and imagining things or were you and Cappie like hanging all over each other last night?" he finally asked.

"You weren't imagining things," I replied. "Cappie and I had a good night."

"And what about now?" Rusty asked. "Where do things stand with you two?"

I let out a small sigh. "Cappie and I are still just friends," I replied.

I saw out of the corner of my eye Rusty turn and give me a very confused look.

"We've got a long trip home Russ," I replied reading his expression. "I'll tell you all about it on the way."

* * *

_**A/N: Whew, sorry it's been a while since I've updated this story. I was kind of wrapped up with writing Rainbows for a bit but with much encouragement from *cough* someone *cough* I decided to work on and update this story now. There should be only one more chapter to it but you never know.....I may throw and epilogue or something in there depending how I write the ending. Please review and let me know what you think.....reviews are like rays of sunshine for my cloudy days....haha....wow, that was corny :0) It's way too late for me to be posting this right now....haha. Anyway, thanks for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

In the next two hours of my drive to Washington I heard that song again four times. Each time I heard the first few notes I told myself to change the radio station. But ultimately I listened to the entire song all four times. I just couldn't bring myself to change the station. I thought about that night Cappie and I shared cuddling on the blanket in the KT backyard. It always felt so good to be in his arms.

I passed the exit to go to CRU about an hour ago. The thought of going to campus and surprising him did cross my mind. It sure would have made the trip a lot less boring having him in the passenger seat next to me. But deep down I knew picking him up would be a mistake. Seeing him will bring back all the old feelings and I'll have to face another long goodbye on Sunday when he and Rusty go back to CRU. It just wasn't something I was ready to deal with at the moment. I already had enough on my mind with moving and getting settled in my new apartment.

The sun was just setting in the distance when I finally made it in the city. I pulled out my cell phone to let Rusty know I was almost to the apartment.

"Hello."

"Hey Russ, it's me," I said. "I'm about ten minutes away from the apartment if you want to meet me there."

"Actually Calvin and I just sat down to have some dinner," said Rusty. "Why don't you join us?"

"I don't know Russ. I just got here and I kind of want to just get in my apartment and relax for a bit," I replied.

"Come on Case," whined Rusty. "You don't even have any furniture yet so I don't know where you're going to be relaxing at."

I sighed realizing Rusty had a point.

"We're at a little diner down the street called Mancy's," said Rusty. "Come grab a bite to eat with us. Calvin even says he'll pay for you."

I hesitated until I realized that this was going to be another one of those times that Rusty just didn't back down regardless of how many times I told him I didn't want to go.

"Alright, I'll see you in a few minutes," I mumbled as I hung up the phone.

I maneuvered my way through several of Washington's busy streets before passing my new apartment building and finding the diner a little ways down the street. I parked the car and grabbed my purse before slowly making my way into the diner. The truth was that I was pretty hungry. I hadn't stopped for hours hoping I would be able to make it here quicker. But on the other hand I just wasn't up to sitting down to dinner talking about whatever with Calvin and Rusty. But they were here to help me move so I guess it was the least I could do to join them.

I stepped into the diner and looked around trying to find where Rusty and Calvin were. I then saw Rusty wave to me and made my way over to the table. He stood up and gave me a hug. I turned to greet Calvin as I backed away from him.

"Hey Cal—" but it wasn't Calvin sitting across the booth from Rusty. "Cappie? What is going on here?"

"Nice to see you too," said Cappie as he stood up and gave me a hug.

I instantly melted in feeling his arms around me again. But at the same time I was pissed. There was something going on here that I was not aware of and I didn't like it one little bit.

"I thought you said Calvin was here," I said as I finally backed away from Cappie.

"Oh did I say Calvin?" Rusty asked stupidly. "I guess I meant to say Cappie. Sorry about that Case."

I rolled my eyes at him as him and Cappie both sat back down in the booth. I stood there for a second thinking about who I should sit next to. In the end I decided Rusty was the safer bet even though I was more than furious at him at the moment. I sat next to him just as the waitress walked over to us.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked me.

"Um, I'll just have a water," I replied.

She nodded and walked away.

"We haven't ordered the food yet," said Rusty. "We were waiting until you got here."

I opened up my menu and stood it up so my gaze was blocked from Cappie. He looked so incredibly hot today for some reason. He had on a red t-shirt that somehow brought the blue out in his eyes. His many necklaces were draped around his neck and his hair was perfectly combed with just a few curls at the ends. Seeing him smile drove me even crazier. It was just a good thing to try my best to not look at him for the time being. Maybe I should have sat next to him instead of Rusty. At least that way I wouldn't have to look at him the entire time.

"Here's your water," said the waitress interrupting my thoughts. "Are you guys ready to order?"

"You guys go ahead," I said. "I'll pick something by the time you're done."

I listened to each of them order burgers and fries and I kindly told the waitress I would have the chef salad with ranch dressing. The waitress reached her hand out for my menu. I wanted so badly to keep it so Cappie could be shielded from my sight. But in an effort to not seem like I was obviously avoiding his gaze I handed her the menu and she walked off.

"So how was the drive?" Rusty asked.

"Wait, wait, we're not doing this small talk crap right now," I said. "I want to know what is going on. Why are you here?"

"I came to help," Cappie replied as he took a sip of his drink.

"But you called me this morning like nothing was going on," Casey replied. "Were you here the whole time you were calling me?"

"Yeah," Cappie replied softly.

I leaned back in the booth and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Case, it's not a big deal," said Rusty. "We could use the extra pair of hands anyway."

"Well it is a big deal," I replied. "This is just not about him coming here to help. I feel completely blindsided by the whole thing. If he was just coming here to help then you two would have told me about it. So I'm going to ask you again Cap. Why in the hell are you here?"

Both boys were kind of taken back by my little outburst. I felt bad about it but I wanted to know what was going on. We all sat there in awkward silence for a bit. I looked up and met eyes with Cappie. We just stared at each other, not quite sure what to say.

"I've got to go to the bathroom," Rusty said beside me.

But I didn't move to let him out. My eyes were still completely fixated on Cappie. It was like he was trying to tell me something with his eyes but I wasn't doing a very good job reading it.

"Case, seriously, can you let me out?" I heard Rusty speak again beside me.

I finally grew the strength to stand up and let him out to go to the bathroom, or in this case leave Cappie and me alone so we could talk. We all knew he really didn't have to go to the bathroom.

I slid back down into the booth and rested my arms on the table, my eyes still locked on Cappie's. He began to lick his lips nervously and I could just feel another conversation coming on about us and whatever relationship the two of us had at the moment.

"I came because I wanted to see you," Cappie finally said.

"Cap, you could have just told me that," I replied. "I could have stopped by to see you at CRU on my way here. It would have saved you the trip."

"Yeah, but I wanted to see you here in DC," said Cappie. "I wanted to see your world and what you will be experiencing." He paused. "Because," he hesitated again. "Because I hope to be a part of this world in the future."

"Cap….." I began to say.

"No Case, I'm serious," he interrupted me. "I have been an absolute mess since you left that morning after the KT party. I know we left on good terms but I just can't help but think like I lost you for the last time. How many times can we keep doing this? It's like every time we see each other the goodbye gets that much worse."

"Well then I'm surprised you're here right now," I replied. "It's just going to be another hard goodbye when you head back to CRU with Rusty at the end of the weekend."

"Maybe it will be," Cappie replied reaching across the table and taking my hand into his. "But that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I don't understand this Cap," I said pulling my hand back from his. "Nothing has changed between the two of us. It's the same old story over and over and over again."

"You keep saying that but I don't think it's true," Cappie replied. "Being apart from you has made my feelings for you so much stronger. I'm more in love with you now than I ever have been. And those feelings have given me that much more drive to make things work between us."

I leaned back and stared at him for a second without responding. "What makes you think that things are going to work out now for us?" I asked.

"Because—"

"Have you two made up yet?" Rusty interrupted walking up to the table. "I'm kind of getting tired sitting in the bathroom waiting."

"Just sit down," I said pulling him down into the booth next to me. "I think we can all agree that there is no point in any awkwardness between us. Cappie's here to help and he's a great friend for doing so."

"Well good, I'm glad that's all cleared up then," said Rusty.

"Yup, things couldn't be better," Cappie added giving a patent fake smile.

But I knew that things really weren't cleared up. I looked across the table at Cappie. He was putting on a good front in pretending he was OK with things but I knew he wasn't. The two of us still had a long talk ahead of us but I knew now was not the time to do it.

We sat and made small talk until the food came. I told them about the drive and how awkward I felt leaving the house in the morning. It turns out they really did a leave a couple days early to stop in Pennsylvania to see Heath. But Calvin ended up staying there and they were going to pick him back up on the way home.

Cappie paid for dinner and the three of us walked out to the cars.

"Are you guys staying at my apartment?" I asked, unsure of exactly what the plans were for the night.

"Yeah, if that's OK with you," Cappie replied.

"It's fine with me," I replied. "The only thing is that I don't have any furniture. So we'll probably have to spread out blankets and sleep on the floor."

"Hell, I've slept on worse," Cappie replied with a small laugh.

I also laughed as I walked over to my car and opened the door. As I sat down in the car I was startled by Cappie getting in the passenger's side. I gave him a confused look.

"I hope it's OK I ride with you," he said. "I've just been in the car so much with Rusty that I need a break from the little guy." He paused. "Plus, if you ask me," he whispered. "His driving sucks."

"Yeah, I could have told you that," I said with a laugh as I started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

"So is your landlord going to be there to let you in or something?" Cappie asked. "Because it is pretty late."

"She actually sent me the keys in the mail last week," I replied as I pulled out onto the street.

"That's good," Cappie replied. "So what is this place like?"

"Just like a regular apartment," I replied. "There's a kitchen and a living room with a cute little fireplace. And a bedroom and a bathroom."

"Just one bedroom?" Cappie asked.

"Yeah, when I couldn't find a roommate all I could afford was a one bedroom apartment," I replied. "Another room to keep all my junk in would have been nice but I'll make do with what I have here, at least for the first year or so."

"That makes sense," he replied as I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex.

I found a parking spot right in front of my apartment. We both got out of the car and I began walking towards the building.

"Don't you want to carry some of this stuff in?" I heard Cappie call to me from the car.

"No, don't worry about it right now," I replied climbing the steps to the second floor. "I just want to get in and turn on the lights and air and everything first."

"OK," I heard him say as I reached the door of my second floor apartment.

I put the key in and undid the lock. It was a rather exciting moment for me, like I was unlocking the door to a future full of possibilities. I walked in and turned on the light to the living room. I was actually surprised it was rather cool in the apartment. I assumed the landlord must have stopped by and turned on the air conditioning for me. I walked through the bare living room and assessed the kitchen. I turned on the kitchen light and made sure the refrigerator was turned on. The cabinets were better in this apartment than the one she had originally showed me. They were a deep mahogany wood that matched perfectly with the stainless steel appliances. It made the apartment sure look more expensive and high class than it actually was.

I checked in the bathroom and realized I didn't have a shower curtain and added it to the mental list I was making in my head of all the things I needed to get. I then turned on the bedroom light and stopped suddenly. The bedroom was supposed to be bare. But instead there was a bed already in the room. I slowly walked towards the bed thinking that possibly the landlord sent me the keys to the wrong apartment. But looking at the bed sent all those thoughts away. I would know that comforter anywhere. It was the same comforter on Cappie's bed at the KT house. I bent down and gently rubbed the outside of the comforter which instantly filled my head with all the wonderful memories Cappie and I shared.

"I heard you were looking for a roommate," a voice said behind me.

I turned around to see Cappie leaning against the door jam, much like he did each time he met up with me at the Lite and Easy. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and he had a nervous smile on his face.

"I'm, I'm kind of confused here Cap," I stuttered, unsure of what to say, my hand still on the soft comforter. "How did all this happen?"

"I bought the bed yesterday and Rusty and I moved it in here today," Cappie replied. "I was actually going to buy furniture for the whole place but I was afraid to buy something you didn't like and I didn't think I could go wrong with the bed."

"How on earth did you even get in here?" I asked.

"I called your landlord and told her my plan," he replied. "Once she knew Rusty and I were legit she gave us the extra key to move the bed up here today."

"This is crazy Cap," I replied. "I'm just in shock."

We both stood there for several seconds staring at each other. I could tell he was nervous and I was pretty dumbfounded. This was not the way this weekend was supposed to happen. Leave it to Cappie to throw his wrenches in the whole mix.

"Well? What do you say?" he finally asked, still leaning against the door jam. "Would you have me as a roommate?"

"Wait. How can you possibly be my roommate?" I asked. "Aren't you still going to CRU?"

"Nope," Cappie replied. "I finished up all my classes this summer and graduated."

"Wait. What? How? You?" The one word questions were continuing to spew out of my mouth.

He smiled and began to walk towards me.

"I busted my ass this summer, especially during the second session," he replied. "I'm done losing you. I can't do it anymore and I guess that's my driving force to finally grow up. So, Casey Cartwright, I'll ask you again: What about now? Can I be your roommate and we give this a shot?"

The entire room was spinning at the moment. Was this seriously happening? Could I honestly have the best of both worlds, my future law career AND Cappie? Did I even deserve this?

Cappie stepped even closer to me, his body just inches from mine. I began to smell his intoxicating cologne. It reminded me of the closeness the two of us have shared so many times before. He continued to stare at me with his eyes begging me to just answer his question.

"No," I finally replied wrapping my arms around his waist. "I want to be so much more than roommates."

When he first heard me say no his face dropped into the saddest expression I had ever seen. But as soon as my arms went around his waist and he heard my next words a smile grew from ear to ear.

"Really?" he asked looking down at me. "We can do this?"

I didn't even have to use words to answer him. I moved my hands to his face and pulled him down towards my lips and kissed him as passionately as I could. Both of us were devouring each other like we hadn't seen or kissed each other in years. And honestly, it felt like years since the last time we shared this kind of kiss. There was finally no stress, no arguments, no questions about the future. It was only the two of us starting our new lives together in Washington DC.

Cappie surprised me by reaching his hands underneath my shirt and pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. The next thing I knew I was laying back on the bed with him over top of me. We were kissing passionately again until I gently pushed him away.

"We can't do this now," I whispered. "What about Rusty?"

Cappie smiled as he bent down and began to nibble on my collarbone. "He's at the hotel room," Cappie whispered back. "This was all a part of the plan."

Cappie didn't let me respond as he pressed his lips against mine again and began running his hands all over my body. I was slightly weirded out that having sex was the ultimate end to their diabolical plan of the evening. But as soon as Cappie made his way to my ear and whispered ever so softly "I love you" to me all those thoughts went flying out of my head.

Making love to Cappie was just what I needed and I'm pretty sure it was everything he needed too. We laid there for the rest of the night never leaving each other's arms. No words were said and at this point they didn't need to be. We both knew that this was the right step for the two of us. My world felt like it was turned upside down but right side up at the same time that night. I suddenly didn't feel alone anymore and I wasn't scared about starting this new journey in Washington DC. I had my best friend right by my side and now that I had him here I felt like such a fool for even letting him go all of those times before. This is it. The time is now. And I couldn't be happier.

* * *

_**A/N: Yay for a happy ending huh? Hope everyone liked this story and how it turned out in the end. I'm kind of torn about writing an epilogue or not....what do you guys think....yes?? Or leave is the way it is?? Any ideas of what you would like the epilogue to be about?? If I get enough responses I'll probably write one but if not then this will be the end for this story at least. Also, I'm up for any ideas for another post finale fic.....requests welcome :0)**_

_**Your thoughts are always welcome in the reviews. Thanks for reading!**_


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